S h a n e  K r a m e r

I feel a bit like Snoopy. Only here I do not sit up on top of my red dog house and write. Here, I sit up on top of a dusty bunk bed and write. It was one of those things I couldn’t pass up. I suppose the urge was spurned by so many events taking place in the last couple of days. It might have something to do with my absolute adoration of my wife, and missing my kids. Whatever the reason, I felt compelled or even obliged to take the time to sit down, sweat out the 90 degree heat, and put some of my thoughts on chips.

Have you ever thought you may enjoy something while simultaneously fearing that you will fail catastrophically in making an attempt to try it? I think that may be a common thing. I think adventures are enjoyed more if the completion of them means one eluded dire consequences of failing the attempt. Traveling to new places has always ranked high on my list of things I enjoy doing. I think like many people that it is mostly due to the unfamiliarity of being in a new place. When you are taken out of your element, and dropped off somewhere where you do not know anybody, do not have a place to sleep, do not have transportation, and on top of all of that you have things that need to get done, simply finding food or shelter becomes a notable and celebrated achievement. It could be just that, that anything accomplished in such an environment, makes one feel like they achieved something; like they lived life a little. That is just the situation that I find myself in right now.

I had some work to accomplish up in North Afghanistan. I was excited by the opportunity to ride in a Hilo for the first time in my life. I sat around the track on my base, in full battle-rattle awaiting my ride. After waiting about an hour on a hot day, I saw the Chinook come flying over the mountains to my south. We all wobbled over to the landed area and watched in awe as the huge vessel approached and lowered itself. Immediately a wall of dust and soot flew in our direction. We all turned away for about 30 seconds, as debris ranging in size from a dust particle to gravel pelted the back of our helmets and necks. Once we were in the Chinook I wrestled out my digital camera just in time to film the take off. The ride was loud and bumpy, but I loved every minute of it. I was able to capture video of most of the ride. I intend to upload it soon.

Once I arrived here, I quickly noticed that I was on my own. I was at a terminal with about 100 pounds of gear during the heat of the day. I began walking north after asking a few persons questions in an attempt to get my bearings. I should backtrack a little while and take the time and effort to describe how friggin large this base is. There are literally bus routes across base. From what I can see this place is larger in are than Naval Station San Diego. After walking for a little bit, I met a person driving a Gator (6 wheeled utility ATV). I asked for a ride and he was able to take me clear across base to where I would be staying. There I waited for about 3 hours for a conex box worker responsible for overseeing the whole check-in process for visitors. Finally I had luck and somebody showed up. I met a few cool people, dropped of the items that needed to be locked up, and went to pick out my rack. There were about 100 beds in a tent, and the bottoms of each of them were all occupied. I settled in on one in the southwestern corner of the tent. I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do to pass time so I watched Lady in the Water.

Like many other M. Night Shyamalan movies, Lady in the Water had a very clever, yet entirely fantastic plot. As each minute of the movie passed I wished more and more that Ra was sitting next to me watching it. It reminded me a lot of the Village. After the movie, I played with Ubuntu for a while and settled on passing my time by playing some sort of English Premier League Soccer Management game. By 4:00 in the morning I was pretty damn good at it, and a bit tired. I decided to get some shit eye. Throughout the night I was awakened by the sound of F18/22’s landing on my forehead. At some point I even heard rockets. I sat in my bed dumbfounded with one of those “did I really f#$%ing just hear that” moments. After about 10 shots/rounds/rockets/missiles/midgets/ whatever, the firing stopped, and I was able to resume my dreams of slowly running away from some formless monster.

I was awakened by a little spark plug of an army Sergeant who must had been a boot camp instructor at some point of time. I really got a kick out of the whole scene. Here we were 100+ soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines all on variations of R&R or vacation lying in our beds trying to focus in total confusion on a little Sergeant running around the tent yelling at everyone to wake up and clean. Not a word was said by anyone, yet for a moment we were all mind readers. What the F%@#? Are you kidding me? We are in an R&R tent and we are getting yelled at to get up and clean and sweep. Though I only had a few hours of sleep I obliged and in all honestly found myself more awake and alert than I should have been.

After cleaning up my area I sat out on a mission to find a shower. I eventually found one with amazing water pressure, something I do not have where I presently call home. I enjoyed every minute of it. As I dried myself I peered out a window to my West saw my first snow-capped mountains in Afghanistan. I took it as a sign of the impending weather change and my mood was immediately lifted by the sight. Afterwards I sat out to accomplish my mission (literally the work I came to do). I was informed by some of the associates that I was working with that I needed to come back a while later. I decided to take the opportunity to run around base and check some things out. I went to the BX to purchase a Monster and sat outside for awhile. Though it was 10:30 in the morning I opted to give the little Burger King Trailer thing another shot. Once again, at no point during the ten minutes that I forced the Burger down, did I get even a morsel that resembled Burger King from the states. Despite that failure I found myself in a good mood. I sat outside for a while longer just for the sake of observing social interaction. The ‘summer of 69’ was blaring over the loud speaker. Somehow I felt completely relaxed and at ease at that moment.

I looked over my left shoulder to see a local Boutique. Local turned out to be from India. There was a manikin Laura’s size, and it even had Laura’s cute short haircut that I drool over. On it was one of the nicest/cutest outfits imaginable. I imagined that somebody literally stole an outfit off of Natalie Portman. I must have spent an hour imagining it on Laura. She could totally pull it off. I am smitten by that damn skirt and blouse. I even went so far as to take pictures of them for Laura. I love that about my wife. This may sound shallow, but how many other people have a wife that has popped out 2 children, and can still pull off ridiculously cute little pixie outfits? I suppose in a way she is my very own Natalie Portman that I sometimes get to dress up. I am not going to spend all day talking about how much I like shopping for her (there goes my manhood), I just do. Unfortunately she rarely enjoys my finds.

So here I sit writing. I still have a little over a day here and I hope to find someone to play volleyball with. I even contemplated making a “my base whips your bases ass in volleyball” poster to secretly post. Who knows? Check in a couple of days for pics and vids of the entire trip. I swear I will post them this time.